No more feeling obliged to eat cheese and Christmas pudding til you feel like you are actually going to explode; no more over-excited kids all hyped up on chocolate Father Christmases and jelly beans; and no more maulting Christmas trees and dog-eared cards littering the shelves.
Feeling ready to take on 2013, this is what I have done so far, in an attempt to strive for a better, more glamorous me:
I have bought myself a new scarf (and from John Lewis, not Primark, what's more).
I have downloaded a ‘Lose Weight Now’ hypnosis app. The session is only 60 minutes long but I have yet to get to the end of it – I am normally asleep within ten minutes of turning it on. I am a bit in love with the hypnotist’s East London voice - think Alfie Moon. One reviewer of this app complained that he sounded like a fishmonger. Well, what the heck is wrong with that?
I am currently doing a liver cleanse programme – which includes taking pills, and eating lots of walnuts and beetroot, washed down with freshly squeezed lemon juice. This makes me wee a heck of a lot, which also makes me feel like I am losing weight.
I have treated myself to my favourite perfume – the last time I treated myself to this was over ten years ago, and I got the last squirt out of it this morning. Does perfume have a shelf life I wonder.
In addition to all of this, I am going to go blonde, shave my legs more often, learn Spanish, abstain from crisp and Dairylea sandwiches, and stop writing inane status updates on Facebook.
Oh, and lose a stone of course.
Happy New Year everyone!